2024 Review

Filed Under: Personal

Sunset over Edinburgh, captured from atop Salisbury Crags in September.

In my experience, it’s useful to write about a year as it comes to an end or, in this case, as a new one begins. I haven’t done a lot of blogging recently so it’s particularly useful now, helping me sort my memories and climb out of the discombobulated funk I find myself in. What did I do in 2024? How am I feeling about it?

As I wrote this, sections ballooned into posts of their own:

• This one is about getting a new bike and riding it a lot.
• This one is about painting little people and playing with them.
• This one is about music I enjoyed.

All that’s left for this post are the loose ends.

Living Alone

Nat moved out in June, bringing to an end about 7 years of cohabitation. I feel pretty sad about it, even though it’s what I wanted… that’s just how breakups are, it seems.

Since then I’ve had this big flat to myself. It’s not a particularly economical situation, but I’ve held off on seeing if anyone else would like to live in the spare room for valid reasons:

1. I am economically privileged enough that I can eat the costs.
2. Living with people can be stressful.
3. I feel uncomfortable at the thought of being someone’s landlord.
4. I want to see how I handle living on my own.

The last time I lived alone was a brief stint in my university years, during which I got unwell but, on the upswing, changed my life for the better. I’m in a much safer, stronger position nowadays, so I doubt anything as dramatic will happen?

Thus far, living alone is going well. I don’t get lonely – at least, when I do it has nothing to do with being on my own – so that hasn’t been an issue. I’m good at occupying myself and at taking care of myself. I have a loving girlfriend who visits and who I go visit, which keeps monotony at bay. I really value my time at home and want to make it into an even nicer space for me to be in – 2025 will definitely see me doing some more home improvement.

Image

In the process of writing these lookback posts I went through lots of photos of myself. Some were selfies, some were taken by other people, but either way the hit rate on me actually liking them (or just not disliking them!) is generally quite low.

I am in my thirties. I am mature enough not to expect to always look good, especially to my highly self-critical self, and I am certainly wise enough not to rely on positive feedback about my appearance (from myself or others) for my self-esteem. Nonetheless, I think it’s reasonable to want to improve things, somewhat?

I’m coming at this issue from the depths of seasonal depression and am trying to be wary about that; but it definitely was the case that even on the actually sunny days this year I didn’t feel particularly great about the way I looked. That’s sad! I’d like to feel better.

What can be done? All the things I’m already doing, I guess, just more: therapy, practicing self-love, changing my hair, improving my makeup skills, finding clothes and accessories I like, and investigating further body modification. All these are hugely rewarding but they do tend to fall by the wayside.

This is a reminder to myself how caring about the way I look isn’t evil – it’s a perfectly valid component of caring for oneself, and I should redouble my efforts to feel more at ease in my body.

Conclusion

Despite feeling like a year absent of any milestones or defining personal events, 2024 was full of things to look back on with fondness. There were adventures in the countryside, wargaming meetups with my best friends, parties, club nights¹, gigs, great films, great books, and more besides. My career continued along its gentle upwards trajectory, with plenty of new things learned and insights gained. Relationships changed and deepened, new ones formed, and I worked hard on understanding myself better.

All in all, not a bad year.

Thanks for reading. I hope your 2024 was a good one and your 2025 is even better!