Life, Now
Filed Under: Personal
It’s been a strange few months.
Unemployment is both crushing and freeing. Crushing, because of the financial health bar ticking down in the background. Freeing, because I can almost do whatever the hell I want with my days. In many ways, both good and bad, it rather suits me.
I have a job sort-of lined up, now. At least, I’ve been given an offer, and accepted it – but I’ve yet to be given a contract to sign and a concrete start date, which is frustrating and anxiety-inducing. It feels like it could all turn out to be a mirage, and I’ll have held off on looking for other opportunities (even short-term ones) for nothing. And I will chastise myself for ever having got my hopes up.
If I do get it after all I’ll be over the moon, and not just because my bank balance will stop free-falling. It’s a great opportunity to work in my specialisation on something cool, with (it seems so far) nice people. That’s all I ever hope for from a job, really.
In amongst this interminable, horrible waiting I’m fortunate to be doing plenty of nice things:
- I’ve been getting in some quality time with my partner, who continues to amaze me in so many ways, and also taking steps into another relationship that feels exciting and promising. Consequently I have a lot to look forward to in the realm of affection, and feel very loved and cared for.
- I’ve been reading more. I’m now devouring Andrzej Sapkowski’s Blood of Elves, a charity shop catch, and Becky Chambers’ A Closed and Common Orbit, having recently enjoyed her The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet.
- I’ve been playing Space Hulk for the first time with my friend Tanya. It is quite good. I can see why it’s so adored.
- I’ve been painting lots of Weaver Courts models for Goonhammer reviews. I’ll be mostly out of the review-woods soon, but then I’ll keep on painting til I’ve painted all my remaining Weavers. Somewhere else in town my old Kings of War opponent might be answering my summons and building the Nords starter set she found in her cupboard, so I may yet actually play some Conquest.
- I’ve been working on Quarrel again, this time building from the ground up in Odin, and keeping the project scope nice and tight. If I’m disciplined I should soon have a prototype I can shove in front of people and start iterating on.
- I’ve also been working on Magewinds again, having been energised by a recent session helping my partner prototype her own (very cool) game idea. I have a clear vision of where I’m going with the project and how to get there, which feels great.
Therefore in spite of the lingering bitterness, things are, for now, not terrible.
They’re quite okay, actually.